Lorazepam

It's like falling
It's like floating
So gently on a smile

I can hold heaven in my palms
Pale and round
Swallow them down
Magnetic to my bones
Magic to my heart
Forever

I don't ever want to leave
This state of mind

Letter to Joe

Ever since you left last year, nothing has been the same
I've stopped blaming you for all of my insanity.

I fell in love with a beautiful man
But your beauty was only skin deep
You are heartless and selfish and you
Never loved me.

We said we would never let this happen
Let anything come between us.
"Till the wheels fall off"

Did you forget that you told me that I was your lifetime love
Your love for life

I guess so

I should have never let this go on as long as it did.
Never should have let the abuse get control
But I was so scared, I could never stop shaking.
Just couldn't leave you

You cry in your sleep, do you know that?
I hope someday you find the reasons
For all of your sadness that you lock away

Remember when you throw me down the hallway
Landed on my neck
I was really hurt and you kept hitting me where I was hurt more

You can go spread your hurt and hate to someone else

I'm a new person these days, still damaged, but different.
The peace is gone , the puzzle is undone

If you knew how much you would damage me for the rest of my life
Would you still have done it

Slipping through my fingers

Fall like feathers
Swaying to the ground so slowly

I stand here and watch you
slipping through my fingers

Can't stop my face from shattering
Into a million gasping sobs
In front of all these strangers
Caught between here and there

I sit on the train
Red faced on these threadbare seats
And cry

Authors Note:
This is a true story. I cried on a bart train and was begging someone to give me another chance after I fucked up big time. It was so humiliating and what made it worse was I saw a Doctor I once worked with on the train when all of this was happening. Good News, he gave me another chance.