Monday, June 18, 2012

The Edge of Seventeen

When I first fell in love I felt hypnotized.
It was so beautiful . I remember the first time I saw him.
I am forever scarred by that first love.
A scar I welcome a scar I soothe

Sunday, June 17, 2012

An Interesting Night

He asked me if he come over. It was nearly midnight.
I asked "what for"
He said because ...he likes me.... as a friend ...and a little sister
I said " no i think its pretty late I'm tired"

He gave me some long drawn out story about how he almost got mugged today and didn't to want to be alone.
I  said "OK but no funny business"

He lives 5 minutes away but it took him hour to arrive. At one point I doubted that he was even coming. He walked in with his hair wet and perfectly disheveled. He was wearing a red and white flannel coat that on his build made him look like a sexy lumberjack.

That night we baked cupcakes, drank something dark and poisonous and talked and laughed into the night.We tried to outsmart each other with our knowledge of old film and books. We tried to out wit each other as drunkards tend to do. I had met my match.
We played a little rummicub but he was no good at numbers. We went on to look at  my movie collection. I was embarrassed by secret collection of romantic comedies that I like to fall asleep to. Finally settling on nirvana unplugged. We both sat Indian style on the floor two inches from the screen, nostalgically singing along, claiming each song was our favorite. W were having a nice time.

I got up to get another drink and he followed. That is when I realized that men always have motives. We were in my tiny kitchen as he slowly backed me up against the chipping tiles. He told me how pretty I was , how sexy I was how smart and clever I was. "You cant ignore this attraction" he said
He was all hands and breath at that point. Lurking closer and closer. Towering over me. I felt like a child.

"Don't you dare touch me". I let out a little laugh at this predicament.
He told me he used to be like me, unable to love, unable to have real intimacy. That I should just let go. Needless to say I wasn't going to fall into his arms over such a cheesy attempt.
It was nearly 6am and he lingered around for a while. He gave me some story about  getting a DUI  would be the nail in his coffin.  I told him he could sleep here but he had to keep his spoon in his own bowl.

He went cautiously into my bedroom like it was a forbidden place. Like he was sneaking into the ladies bathroom. He took off his shirt and I swear I saw buttons pop off. I had no idea he had such a perfect body. His skin was so tan and smooth. He then tried to get in my bed but then said that he had forgotten to wear underwear " is that okay" he asked
I burst out "hell no i don't want you junk on my sheets" He climbed into bed with me.Felt like a giant in my small bed. His feet brushed against mine under the covers and I moved them away quickly "What I cant even touch your feet!" he said in protest. Oh OK i responded.

I woke up to the sunshine and his finger tracing my ear. His muscular arms wrapped tightly around my small waist It was pleasantly soothing and comfortable.I got up quickly and ate some cereal, We watched Breakfast at Tiffanie's for awhile, we were both wondering what to do now

He began trying to explain the part of the movie where the girl had spent all night partying with a rich man and he expected to come in  afterwards. He burst into a fit of rage when she slammed the door in his face.  The man in my bed said "This is exactly what is happening right now."
I glared at him.

So he got up , dressed awkwardly in last nights stale and hopeful clothing. He said "I know I'm not your boyfriend or anything but I would really like to do this again" I walked him to the door and as he was walking down the stairs he yelled up "I'll Facebook you sometime" We both laughed

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Hope in Hidden Places

Hope in a hidden places

My little oily heart
small as a birds; red and purple

I have been traveling through beds
and searching hearts from glimpses

I want to live in the dark, our faces
so close together, illuminated bodies
trying to consume each other but not knowing how

I was never truly naked until the first time you touched me
the heat of our bodies  electric

The whole world dissolves in your eyes when your hands run the length of my body
The universe is empty now, nothing matters

I could write forever about how much I loved you. 
You would read it in bed late at night, in waiting rooms, at the train station.
mouthing the words of each sentence and if your heart was speaking to you

totally saturated in one another but nothing is ever the same the second time around
Strip me down to the bones this time, to the agitated nerves underneath my flesh
Lets not stop this time. I mean it.