Friday, September 24, 2010


"I don’t think I am finite. I have my limitless desires. But from the outside I am framed." 

Don DeLillo

“We have these deep terrible lingering fears about ourselves and the people we love. Yet we walk around, talk to people, eat and drink. We manage to function. The feelings are deep and real. Shouldn’t they paralyze us? How is it we can survive them, at least for a little while? We drive a car, we teach a class. How is it no one sees how deeply afraid we were, last night, this morning? Is it something we all hide from each other, by mutual consent? Or do we share the same secret without knowing it? Wear the same disguise?”
 — Don DeLillo

Thursday Morning

In this bedroom
we sleep on sheets so white
turns our fair skin brown

no curtains on our window
shades of gray and blue in the morning
sunlight intruding in on this bedroom scene
so gently nudging us awake

I thought isn't it perfect
how this body compliments mine
how on our sides we fit together
like two things made at one time

this is the only peace I can feel
stolen moments spent awake in bed
these threads remember everything
and for a while i was never alone

a love sorted out in motions
bare walls bare flesh on bare bones
we are already so cluttered with contrasts
there is no need for anything more

he makes me breakfast while i lay in bed
and when life comes rushing back
like high tides one layer at a time
bare feet on the cold tile
I find one egg in the frying pan
and one dish in the sink
after dawn paints us blue all over
this has colored us in shades I cannot see
I can feel them like blankets of warmth
soothing our softest spots
places that we can never touch
but are always the easiest to find

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Your Catfish Friend by Richard Brautigan

Your Catfish Friend
by Richard Brautigan
If I were to live my life
in catfish forms
in scaffolds of skin and whiskers
at the bottom of a pond
and you were to come by
one evening
when the moon was shining
down into my dark home
and stand there at the edge
of my affection
and think, "It's beautiful
here by this pond.I wish
somebody loved me,"
I'd love you and be your catfish
friend and drive such lonely
thoughts from your mind
and suddenly you would be
at peace,
and ask yourself, "I wonder
if there are any catfish
in this pond?It seems like
a perfect place for them."

A Boat ...a review

A Boat

O beautiful
was the werewolf
in his evil forest.
We took him
to the carnival
and he started
when he saw
the Ferris wheel.
green and red tears
flowed down
his furry cheeks.
He looked
like a boat
out on the dark

It seems strange to me that this is one of my favorite poems. I love the imagery it provides. 
   I also like that it allows the reader no clue on the meanings of its symbolism, so it may mean something different to each person. I think that is one of the most beautiful aspects of poetry, when the author leaves some mystery, lets you come to your own conclusions.
    My interpretation of this poem is as follows:

    Over simplified, I believe this poem is a contrast between good and evil. The evil/darkness being the werewolf and his forest home and the good/light being the carnival.
    It was very touching to me the thought of a creature that knew no lightness or goodness to see it for the first time. To cry at the sight of it. Imagine spending your whole life in a dark place full of struggle and then peeking in on a whole other way of life. You must feel like a victim of circumstances I loved picturing the reflection of the Ferris wheel lights in the werewolves tears. Perhaps he was crying out of sheer awe of seeing something so different from what he has ever known, something so good, such a change from his evil world. He might be crying also because though he could witness such a good happy place, he could never be a part of it. He would always be different and unable to enjoy such things along with everyone else.
    At the end of the poem " he was like a boat out on dark water".... for me this represented loneliness, hopelessness and alienation. Werewolves are often portrayed as being alone and alienated, different from all of mankind but partly the same. His alienation represented by the lone boat surrounded by water. Unreachable.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Don't do Drugs Kids

I used to not be able to understand why people became addicted to drugs. I didn't get how people I knew could totally transform into these creatures who were filled with such constant desperation. How can someone I have known for my whole life all of a sudden within the course of a few months become a totally different person - a person who I don't know- a person who doesn't care about anything or anyone. How can someone not care that they are ruining everything that they have spent their whole lives trying to build. Relationships, job history, security, credit., trust. All gone.
I was overwhelmed by the loneliness of their world. why cant they just stop.
I think I'm starting to understand now, how doors keep closing around you and your self expectations start to dissolve. I never realized that they were running from things other than cops. Memories , guilt, disappointment, abuse, things that creep up on you things you want to push back down- deeper and deeper so you wont have to see it again.